Category Archives: Lifestyle

Guest Blogger of Honor

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The Audacity’s guest blogger, Dave Knapp, contributes a kick-ass rap that stresses the importance of personal growth….and pretty much all that jazz we love.

Dave:

“So there was this one time that I went to work after a few nights of partying and hardly any sleep. Big deal. Everyone does that. Well my boss could tell I was pretty burned out so he told me to go take a short nap in my car. It turned out to be the longest short nap of my life.

The first time I woke up, I was still there in my car. I was hungry so I decided to drive down the road to pick up some snacks. It had begun to rain, and it was hard to see where I was driving. I hit a corner going a little too fast and my car hydroplaned into a tree. I woke up again in the parking lot. I hadn’t moved. It was no longer raining. I got out of my car and went back inside, but everyone was gone. As I searched the building for any kind of life, I began to see rooms that had never been there before. Once again, I found myself in the driver seat of my car. I heard the sound of a jet engine getting louder and louder. I looked up to see a plane heading straight for my office. Upon impact, I woke up once again in my car. The building was fine, the jet was gone, but everything was not alright.

The nightmare seemed to go on for an eternity. When I finally awoke from my imaginary hell, I couldn’t even believe I was really conscious. I felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, only I never had to learn an important lesson to escape from the dream loop. I thought about what had happened for days, and from my existential crisis an epiphany was born. I felt the only fitting way to communicate my grand realization was in a rap.”

“Big Picture”

I reach for the sky trying to get closer to god

but I’ll never get there cuz I’m inherently flawed

I’m proud of my progress, but I know if I try

I could do better, but I’ll have no regrets when i die

I live for each epiphany, ecstatic when they come to me.

Leaps in personal evolution, compounding infinitely

Parabolic growth, but I’ll never know the best that I’ll be

cuz there’s no limit to our potential, and that’s the beauty of humanity

Identity’s the product of a place and a time

Thousands of complex factors all work to define

The outcome of the physiology and the mind

of a single individual, yet most are still blind

To the miracle of existence, that the fact of our being

and every moment we live, wondering what all of this means

Is the least likely outcome of an inconceivable string

of variables. Know that life’s a beautiful thing.

Those who live selfishly fail to understand these things

And the unseen impact that a selfish choice brings

For a choice made in neglect of another’s well being

Has deprecating effects that return to the wellspring

Collectively hindering the rate of evolution

Every selfish decision, every easy solution

Creates ripples in the collective anthropological pool

So make sacrifices, live for others, and don’t be a fool

**Above picture taken from High Fructose Magazine’s tumblr page: the artist is Joel Rea for more info click http://hifructose.com/2013/05/07/joel-reas-high-velocity-paintings/

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Walk of Shame? More like Walk of FAME!

We’ve all been there, ladies. Here’s my how-to guide on dominating your walk of shame! Hangover remedies not included, unfortunately….but let me know and I may just make this a part two-er.

Alex’s guide to the perfect morning after look

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Everything you need to know to recover yesterday’s freshness while recovering from last night’s madness

We’ve all been there: partying and cavorting the night away, only to wake up in a strange place with your hair and makeup in a stranger condition. Don’t sweat it. We’re only human. Fielding a hangover or the shame of a, ahem, unnecessary slumber party, can do a lot to a girl’s self esteem, but your outer appearance shouldn’t have to pay for it. We owe it to ourselves  (at the very least) to look better than we feel, and I’m here to tell you how to make it happen. Using limited to no supplies, you’re going to get the run down on how to pick yourself up and put everything back together. All you need is a semi-clean bathroom stall…..

The I-had-no-friggin-clue-i-would-be-going-out-last-night-and-i-didn’t-bring-anything-for-the-morning-after beauty guide:

Nothing feels worse than awaking the next morning to the burning realization that you didn’t bring any kind of morning toiletries, not even a toothbrush. Here’s what you can use instead. The public restroom is actually a sanctuary of resources….

  1. Wash your face: Probably the most difficult thing to do in a public restroom, but totally do able. Grab as much toilet paper as humanly possible (way less harsh on the skin and way more absorbent than the standard paper towels) to dry off with.
  2. Since you don’t have a hairbrush, throwing your hair into a messy, chic top knot is going to be the best way to go
  3. If your hair or face is greasy: old news, but it always works. Take a toilet seat cover and rip it into sections. Use the sections to pat down your roots or your t-zone. It will absorb all those gross oils.
  4. Sunglasses. No explanation needed for this one.
  5. Take a walk: Chances are, you’re doin the walk of shame anyway, but actually being outside in brisk, fresh air will rosy up those cheeks, and also soften that bloated mug of yours.

When you know you’ll be crashing somewhere, and you need to carefully select the best makeup solutions:

Space in that purse is limited, I know, so here’s a convenient list of supplies that won’t take up too much room:

  1. pack of mini brushers
  2. travel size bottle of visene red eye
  3. portable bottle of Garnier BB cream (2 in one moisturizer and light weight concealer)
  4. blush or bronzer
  5. hand cream
  6. small bottle of makeup remover
  7. chap stick
  8. travel size mascara
  9. travel size deodorant
  10. 10. hair ties

With the above acoutroments, you’re sure to fool anyone into thinking you spent all morning preparing your “fresh-faced” look. Just remember, the best make up is confidence, so fake it till you make it!

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Fool in the Sunshine

Fool in the Sunshine

The ridiculous sunnies I made a couple days ago. Will post later on it with more pictures. Lucky you.

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